아주아주 오래 전에 읽기를 마친 책이다. 단지 게을러서 (혹은 무척이나 바빠져서) 이제서야 읽었다는 기록을 남기게 되었다. 작가가 "나 가방끈이 길다길다 너무 길어서 아는 단어는 죄다 최고급영어라오. 보시오, 이 단어들 어디서 주워라도 들은적 있소?" 묻는 듯, 아는 척 (물론 많이 아시겠지만-ㅅ-+) 무척 티내는 그런 사람인 것 같다는 느낌을 받았던 기억이 난다. 알랭 드 보통을 별로 좋아하지 않는 이유도 그놈의 '아는 척'인데 (물론 많이 아시겠지만-ㅅ-++) 아무튼, 오래 머릿속에 머물렀던 문구나 기록하련다.
책 속에서
I wnated movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life. -Leo Tostoy, "Family Happiness"...
It is true that many creative people fail to make mature personal relationships, and some are extremely isolated. It is also true that, in some instances, trauma, in the shape of early separation or bereavement, has steered the potentially creative person toward developing aspects of his personality which can find fulfillment in comparative isolation. But this does not mean that solitary, creative pursuits are themselves pathological.... Avoidance behavior is a response designed to protect the infant from behavioural disorganization. If we transfer this concept to adult life, we can see that an avoidant infant might very well develop into a person whose principal need was to find some kind of meaning and order in life which was not entirely, or even chiefly, dependent upon interpersonal relationships. -Anthony Storr, "Solitude: A Return to th Self"
He was right in saying that the only certain happiness in life is to live for others.... I have lived through much, and now I think i have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor-such is my idea of happiness. And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, and children, perhaps-what more can the heart of a man desire? - Tolstoy, "Family Happiness"
Now what is history? It is the centuries of systematic explorations of the riddle of death, with a view to overcoming death. ... You can't make such discoveries without spiritual equipment. And the basic elements of this equipment are in the Gospels. What are they? To begin with, love of one's neighbor, which is the supreme form of vital energy. Once it fills the heart of man it has to overflow and spend itself. And then the two basic ideals of modern man-without them he is unthinkable-the idea of free personality and the idea of life as sacrifice. - Boris Pasternak, "Doctor Zhivago"
Still, the last sad memory hovers round, and sometimes drifts across like floating mist, cutting off sunshine and chilling the remembrance of happier times. There have been joys too great to be described in words, and there have been griefs upon which I have not dared to dwell; and with these in mind I say: Climb if you will, but remember that courage and strength are nought without prudence, and that a momentary negligence may destroy the happiness of a lifetime. Do nothing in haste; look well to each step; and from the beginning think what may be the end. - Edward Whymper, "Scrambles Amongst the Alps"
There are no events but thoughts and the heart's hard turning, the heart's slow learning where to love and whom. The rest is merely gosssip, and tales for other times. - Annie Dillard, "holy the Firm"
I don't know that you ever get over this kind of loss. The fact that Chris is gone is a sharp hurt I feel every single day. It's really hard. Some days are better than others, but it's going to be hard every day for the rest of my life.
